Wednesday thoughts

I forgot to write yesterday. I’ve noticed my thoughts have sped up a bit too and my sleep is a bit disturbed. My dreams are strange too.

Monday night I dreamt that I was in a psychiatric hospital and was extremly delusional and halucinating lots. I woke from it with sleep paralysis. I had a few other strange dreams too and I had to get up to pee a few times.  Last night was much the same. I got up to pee twice and I dreamt I was in a futuristic place. Maybe on an alien planet or moon. It was a war type scenario or certainly good v bad scenario. We had strange weapons/guns and wore lightweight space suits or something. Anyway I managed to survive. I always do.  

The broken sleep isn’t good for me and I’m not tired either. I’m awake early and going to sleep a little later as well as waking in the night. I’m feeling good but also a little anxious.  I’ve almost had enough of investigating the terrible things our governments do behind our backs and behind closed doors too but people do need to know that these things go on. Maybe it can trigger me though so I have to step back a bit.  

I am meditating a little again and I’m reading again. If only I could keep it up all of the time but I know now that I can’t always and I accept it without a fight so that I don’t cause more angst for myself.  I guess I’m winning battles but know I might not win the war. I’m not admitting defeat though. 

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