Last night I slept for almost 10 hours but I’m still tired and worn out today, but I’m feeling ok. I’m watching my thoughts but slip up constantly. It’s not easy trying to watch ones thoughts. It is easy to slip up and let things slip. Also doing 11-13 hour days is seriously catching up with me and I need to back it down lots. I’m recovering lots too.
I had to make a few business decisions earlier in the week too. I think things will start to work out for the better now and I’ve been getting some feedback from several customers too which has been positive. I’ve still got a huge workload on but I can start to see it coming under my control a lot more now which is a huge relief. I’d certainly been left in the lurch recently and been put under lots of undue pressure. It’s amazing how you think you know someone when you work with them but really you don’t. I guess we are all different and that’s part of the beauty of life.
Today I’m just trying to remain calm and carry on. It’s not so easy at times but I’ll be ok. My wife has gone in to work today because it’s the school holidays and it’s hard to get child care. I feel bad that she’s working on a Sunday but the children and I might make a picnic and go out and do some stuff. We might even pop in for a cup of tea with her. Bless her. She works just as hard as I do, but I don’t always see it. I guess it’s so easy to get caught up in what one sees as oneself.
I still seek enlightenment but I think the way forwards is to give up on seeking it so much and to ‘just be’ and to be as present as I can be and also to be the best person I can be. It’s really easy to get caught up in trying to be a good person and to seek to better oneself but actually end up being selfish in those pursuits. One thing I have done in the last week is to delete my Facebook and I have barely been on twitter either. It’s amazing how much time so called ‘social media’ has taken up. This last week I’ve meditated lots, worked huge amounts and managed to read a fair amount too. I think I’m better off steering clear of social media as it’s antisocial.
My youngest step daughter hasn’t been feeling herself fully lately which I was quite upset to hear but had I had thought that though. I know she will be ok because she’s very strong.
I guess life can catch up with us all at times.