{"id":1329,"date":"2015-06-08T20:10:31","date_gmt":"2015-06-08T20:10:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/?p=1329"},"modified":"2015-06-08T20:10:31","modified_gmt":"2015-06-08T20:10:31","slug":"not-sure-i-should-write-this","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/?p=1329","title":{"rendered":"Not sure I should write this."},"content":{"rendered":"

I’ve been wondering all day about if I should write this or not. Well I’m writing so I guess it’s going to be put down here. First I must say that im feeling ok tonight. That I’ve had a good day today too. Work went well and I’m in an ok place. \u00a0Right that said I need to go back to last night. Late afternoon\/early evening yesterday I started drinking. I drank lots. I’m not a drinker but last night I drank more than two bottles of wine. I got extremely wasted. I almost broke down but didn’t quite. I ended up in a bad place mentally and emotionally and thanks to a few online friends I was able to get through it. I got so very low last night I couldn’t see a way out of anything. I was suicidal. I very nearly took a rope and hung myself. It didn’t quite get that far but the thoughts were there fully and I went up the garden where I intended to do it. In part it was down to the drink bringing up lots of emotions and grief. It heightened everything. I think that’s why I drank. So that I could try to get all of it out. To let go. Anyway it didn’t quite work that way. \u00a0Anyway I’m here to tell the tale today. \u00a0Last night I really didn’t think I would be. \u00a0Life goes on and perspectives change, luckily.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’ve been wondering all day about if I should write this or not. Well I’m writing so I guess it’s going to be put down here. First I must say that im feeling ok tonight. That I’ve had a good day today too. Work went well and I’m in an ok place. \u00a0Right that said … Continue reading Not sure I should write this.<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1329","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1329"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1329"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1329\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1330,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1329\/revisions\/1330"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1329"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1329"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1329"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}