{"id":1482,"date":"2016-01-05T06:45:42","date_gmt":"2016-01-05T06:45:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/?p=1482"},"modified":"2016-01-05T06:45:42","modified_gmt":"2016-01-05T06:45:42","slug":"anxiety-again-same-shit-different-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/?p=1482","title":{"rendered":"Anxiety again. Same shit different day"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>I have anxiety yet again. I had it yesterday too on and off. Yesterday was yet another day of highs and lows. I ended up in tears last night before bed, yet after drumming I felt level or high. I finished work at 3:10pm because I couldn&#8217;t cope any longer and came home to bed for an hour. I feel like I&#8217;m a shell of myself at times and at others I am fully alive. How can it be minutes inbetween each of these? I&#8217;m not sure how much to say to the doctor tomorrow either. One minute anxiety and paranoia, one minute a hollow shell, one minute level and one minute higher than high awesome. It&#8217;s fucking tiring. I feel like my body, let alone my mind, can&#8217;t cope too much longer. Every time I think I&#8217;m getting on top of it all it goes tits up. My life isn&#8217;t real. I&#8217;m an actor playing a role. My dreams seem real half the time and both are mixed up and at times I can&#8217;t distinguish between them. \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>I hope tomorrow I don&#8217;t hide behind my mask although I&#8217;m sure I will. I&#8217;m sure I&#8217;ll play it down. I did before because I was scared shitless. I&#8217;m scared now. I&#8217;m tired of it all. I just want to run away.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I have anxiety yet again. I had it yesterday too on and off. Yesterday was yet another day of highs and lows. I ended up in tears last night before bed, yet after drumming I felt level or high. I finished work at 3:10pm because I couldn&#8217;t cope any longer and came home to bed &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/?p=1482\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Anxiety again. Same shit different day<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1482","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1482"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1482"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1482\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1483,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1482\/revisions\/1483"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1482"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1482"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1482"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}