{"id":1556,"date":"2016-02-23T11:50:44","date_gmt":"2016-02-23T11:50:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/?p=1556"},"modified":"2016-02-23T11:50:44","modified_gmt":"2016-02-23T11:50:44","slug":"posting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/?p=1556","title":{"rendered":"Posting."},"content":{"rendered":"

I can’t remember when I last posted. I promised myself that I should keep posting regardless. I guess ive lacked get up and go. Ive lacked inspiration. My mojo has been stolen. Ive struggled. Yesterday I didn’t work. This morning I only worked briefly. Ive got loads I could and should be doing but ive not got the inspiration for it. I need a high. I know what I’m kind of doing subconsciously \u00a0I think. I think I’m building up stress so that I HAVE to pull my finger out. The last 2-3 days ive had an upset stomach too. Ive not taken vitamin d for several days either. Lacking mojo. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0 Ah yes my last post was about struggling. Ive been doing that alright. Struggling that is. I need summer. I need to be high. I need to be doing 10-12 hour days and growing food. I need to be passionate and inspired. I need to stop panicking if my wife has been drinking wine. To stop overthinking that she’s cross if she’s had a drink. There’s so much I need to change. It’s crazy. I’m crazy. I’m in bed again. How can I inspire myself? I tried by setting some goals but it’s not working. Ive tried to be inspired by earning money but it’s not helping. Money doesn’t make me happy. I’m scared that I lack interest in work. How much longer can I work? I need to change to something inspiring. Maybe I should become a counsellor. Ive thought it often enough. Or study particle physics. I’m intelligent and find it hard to work out if I really could do these things or if I’m delusional yet again. I also know I can do anything if I put my kind to it. \u00a0I’m obsessing about aliens and ufo.’so at the minute. I need a holiday. I need escape. I need help. But what help? Fuck. I don’t know. I’m back on facebook and also back on the bipolar group on there. It’s crazy. I go around and around in circles. Every year is the same. Will it be like this until I’m dead? Just work, craziness and debt. I have too much debt and not enough joy now. Fuck. I need to get inspired and clear my debts. Ive close to \u00a33000 on the credit card plus an over draft. Fuck. Shit. Am I ever in control?<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I can’t remember when I last posted. I promised myself that I should keep posting regardless. I guess ive lacked get up and go. Ive lacked inspiration. My mojo has been stolen. Ive struggled. Yesterday I didn’t work. This morning I only worked briefly. Ive got loads I could and should be doing but ive … Continue reading Posting.<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1556","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1556"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1556"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1556\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1557,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1556\/revisions\/1557"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1556"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1556"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1556"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}