{"id":1580,"date":"2016-06-02T06:11:54","date_gmt":"2016-06-02T06:11:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/?p=1580"},"modified":"2016-06-02T06:11:54","modified_gmt":"2016-06-02T06:11:54","slug":"thursday-thorsday","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/?p=1580","title":{"rendered":"Thursday Thorsday."},"content":{"rendered":"

Bipolar depression. What a jolly little ride. Death fantasies. Low energy. To hell with you. To hell with you. Self or drug induced? <\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0I phoned the local mental hospital yesterday to talk about the drugs I’m on. I told them they are making me a zombie and killing me. The receptionist couldn’t put me through to my ‘team’. She was lucky to get another one to talk to me. If no one would of been able to talk from another ‘team’ I would of been put through the o the ‘crisis team’. Someone did say they would talk though. He was nice enough. Not as intelligent as me and it sounded like he was used to talking to less intelligent pill popping zombies. Anyway at least in the end I got some sense out of him. I told him my zombie pills are fucking me over. I told him I had coped all my life medication free before and he used the usual line of ‘ well with bipolar 1 you do need to be on medication really’. \u00a0I told him the dose was slowing me and making me feel depressed. He agreed that we will lower the dose to 150mg for 2 weeks and see where I am at. I have to stay on the 200mg for now even though as each day passes it kills me more. Only yesterday I had had enough and was going to drive off. Anyway I think I’m in for a rough few days because there’s no way they will have a new prescription ready for me until next week I would imagine. \u00a0He told me that it’s best to lower the dose slowly if coming off as otherwise it might trigger mania ( fucking bring it on motherfuckers ) or a nasty depression…….umm I think we could be there already fuckwit. \u00a0Anyway that’s that and that’s that and that’s that. So stay on the zombie pills for now at the same zombification dose until we are the walking dead flesh eaters. What a shame I’m highly intelligent and articulate and can’t just be a TV watcher and a celebrity lover. What a pity I don’t give a fuck about celebrities and who is fucking who. What a pity I don’t care for ‘Britain’s got a celebrity on ice talent jungle factor’ type utter utter brain deadening counting motherfucking bollocks.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Anyway here’s the lyrics to fade to black by Metallica. \u00a0Very apt lyrics.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Life it seems will fade away
\nDrifting further everyday
\nGetting lost within myself
\nNothing matters no one else
\nI have lost the will to live
\nSimply nothing more to give
\nThere is nothing more for me
\nNeed the end to set me free<\/p>\n

Things not what they used to be
\nMissing one inside of me
\nDeathly loss this can’t be real
\nCan’t stand this hell I feel
\nEmptiness is filling me
\nTo the point of agony
\nGrowing darkness taking dawn
\nI was me but now, he’s gone<\/p>\n

No one but me can save myself, but it’s too late
\nNow I can’t think, think why I should even try<\/p>\n

Yesterday seems as though it never existed
\nDeath greets me warm, now I will just say goodbye
\nGoodbye<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Bipolar depression. What a jolly little ride. Death fantasies. Low energy. To hell with you. To hell with you. Self or drug induced? \u00a0I phoned the local mental hospital yesterday to talk about the drugs I’m on. I told them they are making me a zombie and killing me. The receptionist couldn’t put me through … Continue reading Thursday Thorsday.<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1580","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1580"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1580"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1580\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1581,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1580\/revisions\/1581"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1580"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1580"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1580"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}