{"id":1607,"date":"2016-09-12T05:58:20","date_gmt":"2016-09-12T05:58:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/?p=1607"},"modified":"2016-09-12T05:58:20","modified_gmt":"2016-09-12T05:58:20","slug":"getting-unwell-or-unwell-paranoia","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/?p=1607","title":{"rendered":"Getting unwell or unwell. Paranoia"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’ve been getting unwell and am unwell. I’ve been stuck in a mixed episode over the weekend or before and I’m agitated and can’t switch off. \u00a0I don’t want to go to work. \u00a0I have no choice. I have no money. Luckily I grow food or we wouldn’t have much to eat. \u00a0It’s all famine and feast. \u00a0I’m stressing myself over the coming winter. \u00a0Our boiler isn’t working and I can’t face doing anything about it yet. \u00a0I either dreamt or had a premonition that my MH team are reading this blog and monitoring me. \u00a0Maybe they are I don’t know. They acted on it? On what though? Something isn’t right because my wife went off on a bit of a giddy one Saturday for a short while. \u00a0I’ve been so up myself lately. \u00a0Overthinking even the stupidest of things and maybe there’s something going on with our water or air? Anyway I can’t focus on all this too much or work. \u00a0I’m sleeping a lot less. I’m down to about 6 hours or less per night at the minute and am always a good for 8 hours. \u00a0I need to switch off. \u00a0Time is going so fast. I’m nearly42. So much to do in my life but I think I’m just too scared and find too many excuses not to do things. \u00a0What is safety? We’re not safe ever. \u00a0My concentration is way out there. Why do others want to understand me or try to understand. \u00a0I’ll break. I know I will. \u00a0I’m breaking already. \u00a0How can I be so fucking breakable. \u00a0I’m supposed to be strong. I’m pathetic now. It’s stupid and shit. \u00a0Something is being done to me it must be. \u00a0Others getting their claws in. \u00a0 I should socialise but people are dumb. \u00a0It’s all stupid tv and crap and all that hiding from what’s really going on. \u00a0Brain numbing crap. \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’ve been getting unwell and am unwell. I’ve been stuck in a mixed episode over the weekend or before and I’m agitated and can’t switch off. \u00a0I don’t want to go to work. \u00a0I have no choice. I have no money. Luckily I grow food or we wouldn’t have much to eat. \u00a0It’s all famine … Continue reading Getting unwell or unwell. Paranoia<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1607","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1607"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1607"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1607\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1608,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1607\/revisions\/1608"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1607"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1607"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1607"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}