{"id":1632,"date":"2016-09-28T21:18:08","date_gmt":"2016-09-28T21:18:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/?p=1632"},"modified":"2016-09-28T21:18:08","modified_gmt":"2016-09-28T21:18:08","slug":"at-the-edge-of-the-abyss","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/?p=1632","title":{"rendered":"At the edge of the abyss"},"content":{"rendered":"

Once again I’m standing at the edge of the abyss. \u00a0I had almost 2 days of being almost level but tonight some things my wife said have made my brain go into overdrive. Even my fingers aren’t mine right now. I tried explaining about psychosis and things to her. She said she gets it every day etc. I’m just absolutely gobsmacked. It’s flipped me again. I can’t think straight and thoughts are rushing again. Maybe it’s her way of coping with me telling her last night about how I went up the garden last Wednesday night again, when I broke with reality, and stuck the rope swing around my neck. Had my sons cat of not turned up this time I would of been gone. I was just about to black out when she Meowed and I came around enough to gain my senses. \u00a0It’s a,l a fuck up. I’m not thinking right yet again. She told me not to rush to go back to the doctors because I’ve come through this again and that I shouldn’t rush to up my dose of meds because I wasn’t great on a higher dose. I told her someone suggested I need to go on antipsychotics. \u00a0She doesn’t think I need to. I told her what psychosis is like but apparently she gets that every day. \u00a0I think she needs to very seriously research bipolar 1 rapid or ultra ultra rapid cycling, psychosis and psychotic breaks then she might understand a little of what I hide so well when I’m unwell. \u00a0I hide it all too well. \u00a0It’ll be the death of me. \u00a0 \u00a0 <\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Fuck off<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Once again I’m standing at the edge of the abyss. \u00a0I had almost 2 days of being almost level but tonight some things my wife said have made my brain go into overdrive. Even my fingers aren’t mine right now. I tried explaining about psychosis and things to her. She said she gets it every … Continue reading At the edge of the abyss<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1632","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1632"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1632"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1632\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1633,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1632\/revisions\/1633"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1632"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1632"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1632"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}