{"id":1644,"date":"2016-10-05T06:01:07","date_gmt":"2016-10-05T06:01:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/?p=1644"},"modified":"2016-10-05T06:01:07","modified_gmt":"2016-10-05T06:01:07","slug":"hello-anxiety-yet-again","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/?p=1644","title":{"rendered":"Hello anxiety yet again"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m hot and my throat is sore. I’m worried I’m getting physically unwell yet again and I’m hugely hugely anxious. \u00a0I will go to a customer today who has caused me unwellness in the past. I would normally not bother but I’m owed quite a lot of money and need to get it in. \u00a0If it wasn’t for the money I would walk away. \u00a0I already have the buzzing in my ears and head and the sheer awkwardness of the person is almost unbelievable. Had I of known how it would be before I took the job on I wouldn’t of done it. \u00a0Such is my life. \u00a0Always chasing never catching. \u00a0Bruce Lee had a saying ‘ don’t ask for an easy life, ask instead for the strength to endure a difficult one’. \u00a0 I often feel that’s true of my own life. \u00a0 <\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0I’ve tried meditating this morning but I can’t slow the thoughts or even just let them go. I’m concerned that the last episode isn’t fully over yet and could rear its ugly head again too. \u00a0So much going on inside and outside. \u00a0Yet still I try to reach out and help others. \u00a0I think at times I get somewhere but at others I think it’s pointless. \u00a0It must be in my nature to help. \u00a0I need to get away from some things in life. Stress caused by others being one. \u00a0 We have an opportunity to rent 3 acres of land and I have ideas as to what I would like to do with some of it. \u00a0My wife would like to use some to have the pony on and she has also been offered a horse on loan if she wants it. \u00a0I’m torn because I know it will be so amazing but I also know I can get caught up and fixated on things like this so easily. \u00a0I spoke with her about my concerns and the right thing to do is talk to the owners and see how much we really can do and explain my ideas to them. \u00a0I’m always fearful of crashing and burning out. This has such great potential though. \u00a0I guess my paranoia is thinking it could be too good to be true but also my ideas can run away with me too. \u00a0Cautious mindfulness needed.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m hot and my throat is sore. I’m worried I’m getting physically unwell yet again and I’m hugely hugely anxious. \u00a0I will go to a customer today who has caused me unwellness in the past. I would normally not bother but I’m owed quite a lot of money and need to get it in. \u00a0If … Continue reading Hello anxiety yet again<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1644","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1644"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1644"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1644\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1645,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1644\/revisions\/1645"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1644"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1644"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1644"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}