{"id":1649,"date":"2016-10-11T13:01:31","date_gmt":"2016-10-11T13:01:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/?p=1649"},"modified":"2016-10-11T13:01:31","modified_gmt":"2016-10-11T13:01:31","slug":"shattered-but-still-going","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/?p=1649","title":{"rendered":"Shattered but still going."},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m really shattered. I wish I could go to sleep for a whole day. I’m running on hypomania now. I need to watch it as this is the same as most other years. I really need to keep an eye and not let it start its usual climb to mania before and during Christmas. \u00a0This has been a strange year so far and it’s gone so fast. Superman isn’t outting too much of an appearance in this year. \u00a0Maybe he’s deserted me. I don’t think he’s gone forever but he’s not shone through this year much. \u00a0 <\/strong><\/p>\n

Last night on my drive back from drumming I almost broke. I welled up I side. I nearly had to pull over and let it all out. Something clicked. My parents are dead. They’re dead. I can’t talk with them. I can get advice from them. I can’t see them. I can’t ask them things. Can’t ask what drove them to separate. So many questions unanswered. \u00a0It tires me not being able to shed grief that’s hidden deeply inside. I don’t want to hold it any longer. \u00a0I should consider seeing the private counsellor I saw a few years ago. \u00a0I’ll think about it. Drumming is my therapy now.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0The older I get the less I want to be around others yet I know I need to socialise. I know my wife used to like to socialise a bit. Apart from when depressed. \u00a0Who knows.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m really shattered. I wish I could go to sleep for a whole day. I’m running on hypomania now. I need to watch it as this is the same as most other years. I really need to keep an eye and not let it start its usual climb to mania before and during Christmas. \u00a0This … Continue reading Shattered but still going.<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1649","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1649"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1649"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1649\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1650,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1649\/revisions\/1650"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1649"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1649"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1649"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}