{"id":1680,"date":"2017-02-06T08:37:16","date_gmt":"2017-02-06T08:37:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/?p=1680"},"modified":"2017-02-06T08:37:16","modified_gmt":"2017-02-06T08:37:16","slug":"monday-bloody-monday-again","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/?p=1680","title":{"rendered":"Monday, bloody Monday again"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’ve not eaten this morning. My anxiety is running high. I have no money in my business again. I’m tired of the ever repeating cycle and tired of my ‘theoretical balance’ if I got paid from a few. Theoretical doesn’t pay the bills. I couldn’t eat as anxiety made me just about throw up. I couldn’t eat as there’s only enough for the kids. So I had s strong coffee again to stave off hunger.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0 I’m breaking. Again. Endless circles. I fear this will be huge again or it’ll blow over. My dreams are very vivid. My sleep has been thrown and I feel the pressures building. I’ve seen one way out that’s not viable. Instead I have to stay and fight again. Each time I looses little more of myself. Each time I’m weakened. Chinks in my armour will eventually yield. Pushing and fighting knowing I won’t win is disheartening.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’ve not eaten this morning. My anxiety is running high. I have no money in my business again. I’m tired of the ever repeating cycle and tired of my ‘theoretical balance’ if I got paid from a few. Theoretical doesn’t pay the bills. I couldn’t eat as anxiety made me just about throw up. I … Continue reading Monday, bloody Monday again<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1680","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1680"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1680"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1680\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1681,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1680\/revisions\/1681"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1680"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1680"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1680"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}