{"id":2098,"date":"2020-07-27T17:56:20","date_gmt":"2020-07-27T17:56:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/?p=2098"},"modified":"2020-07-27T18:00:18","modified_gmt":"2020-07-27T18:00:18","slug":"life-and-thinking-things-over","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/?p=2098","title":{"rendered":"Life and thinking things over"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>I\u2019m sat here contemplating my life. What have I actually done with it? \u00a0I feel like I\u2019ve done nothing. \u00a0Summer is pushing towards autumn and for the first time I fear winter but not because of possible depression. No. Other reasons. \u00a0My mood has slipped a little but I know why. \u00a0I was slightly late going to sleep last night. \u00a0I had to kind of force myself to shut down or else I don\u2019t know when I\u2019d of slept. I felt wired but thank fuck I realised it. \u00a0Tipping points creep up but are mostly noticed now. I watched the last episode of something last night and it\u2019s certainly played on my mind. \u00a0I\u2019m not afraid to admit I actually welled up a bit and had tears run down my cheek. Partly it was the series \u00a0I\u2019d been watching but also things it brought up for me. \u00a0More things I thought I\u2019d dealt with but obviously they will crop up from time to time unexpectedly. \u00a0The reasons it hit me was the good acting but also the scenario near the end. \u00a0It reminded me a lot of my mums death quite a bit even though it was slightly different but also very similar. \u00a0Mental pain is a complete cunt that\u2019s for sure. \u00a0I\u2019m going to carry on preparing for what winter might well bring.<br \/>\n<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>On a lighter note my veg are growing well and I think it\u2019s going to be a bumper year for pumpkins and butternut squash. \u00a0Cabbages are doing great too plus beetroot. \u00a0Some good in my world I guess. \u00a0 <\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><br \/>\nEdit: I\u2019m shocked to have just seen how many subscribers there now are to this blog. Just under 32,000! That\u2019s fucking crazy. I know there\u2019ll be bots on that list but fuck me that\u2019s a lot. \u00a0Unreal.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I\u2019m sat here contemplating my life. What have I actually done with it? \u00a0I feel like I\u2019ve done nothing. \u00a0Summer is pushing towards autumn and for the first time I fear winter but not because of possible depression. No. Other reasons. \u00a0My mood has slipped a little but I know why. \u00a0I was slightly late &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/?p=2098\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Life and thinking things over<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2098","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2098"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2098"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2098\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2101,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2098\/revisions\/2101"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2098"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2098"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2098"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}