{"id":2158,"date":"2022-01-01T03:13:50","date_gmt":"2022-01-01T03:13:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/?p=2158"},"modified":"2022-01-01T03:35:26","modified_gmt":"2022-01-01T03:35:26","slug":"3am-on-the-side-of-a-road","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/?p=2158","title":{"rendered":"3am on the side of a road"},"content":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s 3am. It\u2019s New Year\u2019s Day. I\u2019m sat on the side of a road. \u00a0I\u2019ve got up, got dressed and had to leave. \u00a0My brain is playing up, bordering on psychosis at a guess. Not good. Everything is fucking up. Kara is drinking most nights. She\u2019s getting sarky with me a lot. Funny nasty remarks when others aren\u2019t around. Passive aggressive behaviour. It\u2019s fucking me up. I\u2019m not much better. \u00a0New Year\u2019s Eve I was asleep by 10pm. There was no point staying up. She went to bed at 7:30 drunk and being sarky. I\u2019ve had enough. I think I\u2019ll put the house on the market and fuck it all off. I can\u2019t be doing with it. The bills are too expensive. We should never have moved there. I was pressured to move even while my mum was dying. Fuck it all. Years later it\u2019s no better. \u00a0My daughter wonders why I\u2019m always grumpy. She\u2019s up nearly all night. Our electricity is going up to over \u00a3400 a month. A. \u00a0Fucking. Month. Most of the bills I pay. Enough. It has to stop. My daughter is also drinking when she shouldn\u2019t be. I wonder where she gets that from\u2026 do I go home or do I go fill up my van somewhere abd just go\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

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Edit. I\u2019m home. I did manage to run a deer over on the way home. It\u2019s neck broke. I reversed to check on it. I should have put it in the van for the freezer really. \u00a0I also haven\u2019t mentioned the violent thoughts I\u2019ve been having tonight of very graphic violences. \u00a0Not good. \u00a0I should sleep. \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s 3am. It\u2019s New Year\u2019s Day. I\u2019m sat on the side of a road. \u00a0I\u2019ve got up, got dressed and had to leave. \u00a0My brain is playing up, bordering on psychosis at a guess. Not good. Everything is fucking up. Kara is drinking most nights. She\u2019s getting sarky with me a lot. Funny nasty remarks … Continue reading 3am on the side of a road<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2158","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2158"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2158"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2158\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2161,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2158\/revisions\/2161"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2158"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2158"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thebipolarbuilder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2158"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}