I’ve not written since Friday.<\/p>\n
Yesterday it took until 1:06pm until I realised I actually felt quite present. The morning head spent with racing thoughts, at times quite aggressive thoughts, thoughts of feeling down and feeling a little like a victim too.<\/p>\n
I’ve realised that when I am very present I feel how I imagine most people feel most of the time, human. \u00a0When I’m feeling good I feel superhuman, when I’m feeling down I feel like the scum of the earth and worthless. I liken this to high ritual magic and the seeking of conversation with ones holy guardian angel.<\/p>\n
what is it to feel human or for that matter to be human?<\/p>\n
I’be been a vegetarian for over 8 months, almost vegan, coffee free and alcohol free for that long too. I think that has helped me start to come to terms with how my mind is slightly different. \u00a0I feel like I have more control now too, to a degree. \u00a0Meditation and Qigong have helped hugely. \u00a0I’ve meditated for years and years now. The more I meditate the more I start to understand myself. \u00a0I seek enlightenment in this life too. \u00a0Maybe by understanding myself much more I get much closer to it.<\/p>\n
life never ceases to amaze me in both respects.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I’ve not written since Friday. Yesterday it took until 1:06pm until I realised I actually felt quite present. The morning head spent with racing thoughts, at times quite aggressive thoughts, thoughts of feeling down and feeling a little like a victim too. I’ve realised that when I am very present I feel how I imagine … Continue reading Feeling more human?<\/span>