Feeling normal, whatever normal is…

Sunday 9th March

I am actually feeling pretty normal, quite human. I am actually very present and lucid in myself.  I feel like I have some good energy returning and I can use that good energy to good effect right now in my life.

I did`nt go to sleep until almost 1 am but still got up before 7 am this morning. I have had lots of energy lately and have been using some of it up skipping and on the punchbag to release it a little.

I have just been outside practicing some Qigong and had a few things become clearer to me.   I have realised that I am still dealing with emotions from when my Mum died 6 years ago. In fact I would say that I am still dealing with emotions from when I was 6 and she left my dad and myself. They say that time heals all wounds, but thats not fully true in my opinion. I would say time helps to subdue those feelings and can help others think that you are OK when in fact you still have to deal with those things from time to time. Sometimes on a daily basis for a while until they sink back down.

I find that when I can clear my mind and focus a little it helps to bring other things back into clarity and that helps for a while.  I am trying to be able to partially control how my moods can swing.  They can swing several times on a daily basis, I have Cyclothymia, and I have found that through meditating lots,  doing Qigong and trying very hard to live mindfully I can sometimes realise when I am either being very moody or very high/hyper, not always but at times.

Lets see what today brings forth.

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