It’s already Samhain. Where has the year gone! I’ve had a busy year so far. A pretty crazy year. Time to remember the dead. The older I get the more people there are to remember. Both parents and a step parent as well as grandparents and friends and family. The list will always grow until it’s my turn to go through the veil and not one back. I’ve felt like doing that a few times. Even this year.  Hmmmm.    

So here I am again back writing my thoughts down. I’ve had two late nights or I guess that should be early mornings. I’ve eaten lots of sugary things to perk myself up. Maybe that should be prop myself up. I’m hoping to knock things on the head but I have noticed things again.  Body heat. Ears ringing. On Facebook too much. Not reading or meditating or not feeling able to. A huge surge in drive and enthusiasm. My mood has lifted a lot but it might be teetering on a crash too. It’s an edgy mood.  I’m physically tired but still quite wired. I won’t work much today. After work I will collect horse manure but that might be all I do….who knows.  I should try to sleep it off that’s for sure. 

I fear the black dog is slowly creeping its way into my life again. I’m finding myself slipping into old thought patterns and I’m noticing that I’m getting very tired again. I’m on facebook lots again and I’m getting too caught up in the affairs of the world. The sooner we get off grid the better. Self sufficiency is the best way forwards and I think more and more are realising this.  I see that the westernised, bastardised even, way of life isn’t natural.  Its killing the earth where we live and we all blindly think that science will save us. The division between us and the earth grows ever greater and science divorces us from the real earth and from reality. Often we get too caught up in bills, debt and money. The funny thing is that they’re all creations of man and aren’t actually real. They aren’t part of life. No other species on this earth has to pay money and give up hours of its life each week to do so. All other creatures of the earth live. Seas humans are barely existing and we replace the true joy of life with quick consumerism and the false satisfactions thereof. We as a species are foolish. We kill that which we need to be able to survive. What fools we really are. 

Well I’m feeling good. I had a mini high yesterday but luckily it’s settled. The allotment is going well. I’m hot composting the clearings from there and ive turned it once already on Monday afternoon. When I turned it the temperature dropped from 65*c to 20*c. After 15 minutes it was back up to 25*c and yesterday morning, having been left over night, it was back up to 54*c. All is good.  I’m now planning on making the solar furnace to get some free solar heat. I felt a bit lazy because I’d not started it yet, but then this morning I realiseda better way of doing it so it’s good that I’d not built it yet. Ive been using permaculture ideas for about 6 months now and I’ve been asked to write a short article for permaculture magazine. That has made my day. 

Ok so not a usual post I guess. this will play on my mind lots though. The royal airforce has been given permission to shoot down Russian planes in Syria. Just take that in for a minute. Individual pilots if they feel threatened have permission to shoot Russian planes down. That means that a pilot if he feels threatened by a Russian plane, bearing in mind they often play aeroplane tag, can start a war. Possibly another world war. That’s not good at  all. I thought I was nuts but I’m not as nuts as our so called leaders. We need to get the fuck out of Syria and let Russia get rid of ISIS. The USA and UK were never asked by Syria to go there. Russia is an ally of Syria. We are in effect invading countries. We need to get out. How can this be allowed to happen? Are the people so bloody stupid and so aught up in xfactor etc and other trite shite that they won’t know what’s going on until war is fully declared? It will be too late then. All of the war propaganda will be in full swing by then and all facts will be washed away. Wtf. We need to do what we can to avert this from happening. People will die. It’s not a game. 

I’ve been thinking lots lately. I’ve been thinking about my life and where I want to go with it. I’ve also been thinking about why we decide to have goals in life. What a strange thought it is to ‘think’ where we see ourselves in the future. We are always chasing a future this or that. Well often I am anyway. So we chase where we want to be in x amount of weeks, months or years and often this can lead to disappointment. Maybe it’s time to just live life. The world is pretty fucked up in how we all crave more of this or that tat. How we think owning the next new thing will make us happier or more complete as a human being. What a strange notion that is! Anyway so I’ve been thinking