Day 21

So here I am. Day 21 of semen retention and so far it’s reasonably tough this morning. Yesterday was similar. My testosterone is probably peaking again, which seems to happen every 6-7 days, as I’m horny as fuck right now and can feel huge masculine energy simmering inside me. I’ll hz file it because I know what it is. Before SR it would’ve driven me pretty crazy feeling like this. I’m using that energy in a different way now though. It’s fuelling my workouts and my life. I’m funnelling it with ficus to improve my life and increase my workload and productivity. Living a semi monk type life isn’t easy but it’s starting to be rewarding. I’m getting some inner strength which I didn’t think I’d ever be able to access. The control over mind comes too. I’ve never lacked focus and drive when needed but this is so very different. I guess it’s the I AM energy within me. We all have this. Often we don’t know it though.

Angel Numbers

This weekend a lot of Angel Numbers have cropped up. I find it extremely intriguing too as I’m kind of going through a metamorphosis. I started a group course based on certain principles last week and I think this is all part of a much greater whole. Things have accelerated since starting the course, I won’t mention what it is yet, and it’s helping me to tie up many loose ends in my life. I know huge change is coming and started in October last year. It picked up speed then onwards and more so since I seriously started semen retention and being super strict with my lifestyle. Each passing day I gain more self mastery too and from last week onwards I’m gaining a greater understanding of my mind and my thinking. Not only my thinking but how to control it. I see it as hugely beneficial to my mental health. I’ve been meds free since October too and have never felt more in myself and much more aware. Once things have progressed more I’ll open up about it but quite honestly I think it can be life changing for many in the world. Back to the Angel Numbers…just wow. It all ties in. They really do mark out important times in our lives. For once I’m kind of letting life flow yet still being in control. I guess I’m going with life rather than forcing. So much has happened the last 4 months it’ll take a while to fully sink in. There’ll be a lot of transitioning to come too. There’s a certain person in life I eventually hope to make peace with too but that will happen if it happens. I fucked them off and just hope it will heal. No more forcing. Just allowing it to happen. Lots to think about but not think about thinking.

Lessons learnt from SR

I’m still on my path of semen retention. I never thought I’d be doing this or that I could have the energies which come from it. Napoleon Hill wrote about using the sexual energy to gain focus and insights in his book Think And Grow Rich. Chapter 11 is about that energy and using it. I’m still using a breathing technique in the evening to shift the energy upwards. This really ought to be studied more in depth. It encompasses our subconscious and our creative imagination. I’m still also doing body weight workouts about 5:30am pretty much every morning but this week I’ve started lifting weights again too. I’m keeping my diet pretty strict and on the odd occasion that I have something with sugar in now I notice it gives me a lot of wind and bloating. I’d say my diet is more Leto based now with more meat eaten. My abs are showing too as well as my obliques and my physical energy levels are great. I’m meditating at least 2-3 times per day again too. It’s funny how sex used to have a hold over me until I understood and harnessed that energy and have started using it to better myself in life. This energy can similarly be harnessed by women too. I now have goals in many other things too. Sleep is still very important to me and I get a good 7-8 hours of solid restful sleep each night. It’s all good.

It’s all good

This morning I lacked concentration at work but caught myself pretty quickly. I registered I was distracting myself and thinking thoughts I didn’t want to think so I dropped to the floor to ground myself and did a plank for a short while. It passed almost instantly then I cracked on with work. I had a great day.

We are what we think and we can change thoughts at will. Think the right thoughts and the right things will happen. It’s all good.

Self reliance

I’ve realised I have to have self reliance. I cannot expect others to be there for me because others can and will let one down. I’m fast realising yet again how it’s best to have protection of self as top priority. Be one’s own hero. Resilience is growing in me. I think there’s a lot I have to shed to move forwards in life now. Time to toughen up. The path has been laid out before me and I’m treading the first footsteps. Semen Retention seems to have a way of bringing people in from the past and bringing up distractions from the spiritual path. I am seeing this ever more clearly. My willpower and my resolve are being put to the test to see if I am worthy of what is rightly mine, and which I have laid claim to. I have the power of the I AM behind me now.

Self discipline

I have written out my goals for the year ahead. I’ve set down a roadmap to get there. I’ve put down what my aims are for January. All through the Christmas p ’eriod I’ve stuck to pretty rigid patterns to keep on top of my self discipline. I’m laying the foundations of my future. I know it’s not an easy road that I have ahead and that the decisions I’ve made have hurt and affected others, but I know longer term we will all be more than fine. I am tasking myself to get uncomfortable in life, to get hungry and lose my complacency because I know where I am headed and what I will achieve. I like to have a warm bedroom but my bedroom is cooler now. I had previously been almost obsessed with sex but I am now abstaining fully. I used to like the occasional food treat or justified eating more than needed but now I am pretty strict with food and have cut sugary foods out almost completely again and have lowered my carb intake. I’m actually getting abs again. One of my goals is to get into the best shape of my life physically, mentally and spiritually. I’m reading lots again and meditating too as well as manifesting. I’m catching any thoughts that don’t serve me well and changing my thinking when I can too. I AM.

Day 5 of SR

Yes I’m back to day 5 now. I reached day 19 then succumbed. I’m amazed that I got that far. My goal now is 21 days then a month. If I reach a month I’ll aim for 3 months. I was a little annoyed at myself for succumbing but I decided that the best thing to do is just accept it and move on. Right through the Christmas period I have still been getting up about 5-5:20am. In fact 5:20 is a lay in. I’ve also been doing bodyweight exercises still too with the odd weights workout thrown in. I’ve stuck to eating well and am still losing bodyfat/intramuscular fat. My abs and obliques are starting to show more as is the definition in my pecs and delts. my back is probably the first place thats started getting cut. Legs are getting there too and what I’ve noticed is my face is leaner. When washing or touching my face I can feel my jaw and cheek bones more too. It’s all good.

Life at home has had its own challenges over Christmas and I totally understand that Kara is living in mental pain. I honestly hope she can get past this soon. Theres been much more too but I’ll not mention that in here as I don’t want to paint a bad picture of her. It’s time to keep moving forwards now. It’s possible that the house might get sold or go on the market, we will see.

Seeing as it’s New Years Eve I guess lots will be talking about New Years resolutions. I wont be because I know that if I decide to change my life I just get on with it. I don’t need a date on a calendar to tell me or to wait for. I think its why most fail at their New Years resolutions. They build it all up in their minds too much then feel too much self pressure and pressure from others. If you want to change then do it.

Edit: I forgot to say that we all fail but its how we handle that failure that counts. Do we just give up and go backwards or do we dust ourselves off and start again and keep going. If its the latter then we never truly fail.

I’m wondering …

I’m on day 19 of semen retention now and its easy most day. I’m practicing certain breathing techniques that help lots. They’re pretty much tantric/Kundalini techniques which shift the sexual energy up into the pineal gland and pituitary gland. So far so good. I will keep going. I’m doing a lot of bodyweight exercises too and am cutting intramuscular body fat. My abs are showing a bit and my obliques are now starting to show a little. I am noticing I still have lots of drive and am planning bigger things for next year now too. I will note these down in my book with certain goals like increasing my investments. I’ll see how Q1 starts off and am looking to invest in more crypto and precious metals. I’m looking at a few other things too but will see.

One thing I’m wondering about right now though is whats causing occasional rumbling pain in my right side lower abdomen. I’m hoping its simply muscle issues but am wondering if it’s my appendix starting to play up…

All in all I will keep going with my plans though.

Oh and happy belated birthday to Cherry my sister in law/ex sister in law and happy early birthday to Charlotte a customer and friend incase they read this.

Day 17 of SR

I’m pretty amazed that i an 17 days into semen retention now. It is actually life changing for me. The biggest shocks so far are how quickly testosterone levels increase and how much clearer my focus is. I have huge drive. Its not some crazy bipolar high type drive either, no, it’s long term plans and a map to get there. I will sit down over Christmas and set them down on paper again. I feel quite changed as a person and am not driven by impulsive sexual tension or energy to push me along coupled with a crazy mind. No, this is so very different. The sexual energy is instead harnessed and used inside the body through reabsorption. I’m also using meditation and breathing techniques to raise the energy up my spine back to my pineal and pituitary glands. This is what kundalini yoga involves. I had tried this years ago but didn’t have such a good understanding of it. All good. I would add that taking onboard things that The Unminding Project have spoken about has helped too.

Day 13 of SR

I’m on day 13 of semen retention now and have noticed that this morning my testosterone levels have probably risen again. I wonder if the body reabsorbs the testosterone every 5-7 days and if that causes a peak. A few things pissed me off when I got up this morning. Firstly I saw something puddled in front of the fire that looked like sick. Then when I went into the kitchen I saw that the bottle of spiced rum my daughter got me for my birthday had been opened and more than half had been drunk by her. So yes it was indeed vomit in front of the fire. NOT something that I wanted to be clearing up at 5am! This pissed me off but I’ve calmed down since then. I guess its to be expected when one parent in the house drinks almost every night. It normalises this kind of behaviour, and to be clear I’m not the one who drinks hence why the rum was unopened and was put out of the way. Another reason why my marriage failed. also another reason why I’m glad I took control of my life again. Even my sister in law eventually sought help with her drinking problem. Well done to her if shes still sober. I will need to talk to my ex about this and also my daughter. My ex is too much of a soft touch with our daughter and if things aren’t nipped in the bud very soon she will grow up like her mum with a big victim mentality, which is seriously unhealthy and something I’ve had to try living with since we first got together. I have tried to lead by example but my daughter is obviously close to her mother and follows her example quite a bit. They are both terrible with money and as soon as either of them gets any it is spent. Oh well at least my son is looking into business ideas and is already investing.

the ramblings of a builder who is bipolar