So here I am. Day 21 of semen retention and so far it’s reasonably tough this morning. Yesterday was similar. My testosterone is probably peaking again, which seems to happen every 6-7 days, as I’m horny as fuck right now and can feel huge masculine energy simmering inside me. I’ll hz file it because I know what it is. Before SR it would’ve driven me pretty crazy feeling like this. I’m using that energy in a different way now though. It’s fuelling my workouts and my life. I’m funnelling it with ficus to improve my life and increase my workload and productivity. Living a semi monk type life isn’t easy but it’s starting to be rewarding. I’m getting some inner strength which I didn’t think I’d ever be able to access. The control over mind comes too. I’ve never lacked focus and drive when needed but this is so very different. I guess it’s the I AM energy within me. We all have this. Often we don’t know it though.

This weekend a lot of Angel Numbers have cropped up. I find it extremely intriguing too as I’m kind of going through a metamorphosis. I started a group course based on certain principles last week and I think this is all part of a much greater whole. Things have accelerated since starting the course, I won’t mention what it is yet, and it’s helping me to tie up many loose ends in my life. I know huge change is coming and started in October last year. It picked up speed then onwards and more so since I seriously started semen retention and being super strict with my lifestyle. Each passing day I gain more self mastery too and from last week onwards I’m gaining a greater understanding of my mind and my thinking. Not only my thinking but how to control it. I see it as hugely beneficial to my mental health. I’ve been meds free since October too and have never felt more in myself and much more aware. Once things have progressed more I’ll open up about it but quite honestly I think it can be life changing for many in the world. Back to the Angel Numbers…just wow. It all ties in. They really do mark out important times in our lives. For once I’m kind of letting life flow yet still being in control. I guess I’m going with life rather than forcing. So much has happened the last 4 months it’ll take a while to fully sink in. There’ll be a lot of transitioning to come too. There’s a certain person in life I eventually hope to make peace with too but that will happen if it happens. I fucked them off and just hope it will heal. No more forcing. Just allowing it to happen. Lots to think about but not think about thinking.

I’m still on my path of semen retention. I never thought I’d be doing this or that I could have the energies which come from it. Napoleon Hill wrote about using the sexual energy to gain focus and insights in his book Think And Grow Rich. Chapter 11 is about that energy and using it. I’m still using a breathing technique in the evening to shift the energy upwards. This really ought to be studied more in depth. It encompasses our subconscious and our creative imagination. I’m still also doing body weight workouts about 5:30am pretty much every morning but this week I’ve started lifting weights again too. I’m keeping my diet pretty strict and on the odd occasion that I have something with sugar in now I notice it gives me a lot of wind and bloating. I’d say my diet is more Leto based now with more meat eaten. My abs are showing too as well as my obliques and my physical energy levels are great. I’m meditating at least 2-3 times per day again too. It’s funny how sex used to have a hold over me until I understood and harnessed that energy and have started using it to better myself in life. This energy can similarly be harnessed by women too. I now have goals in many other things too. Sleep is still very important to me and I get a good 7-8 hours of solid restful sleep each night. It’s all good.

This morning I lacked concentration at work but caught myself pretty quickly. I registered I was distracting myself and thinking thoughts I didn’t want to think so I dropped to the floor to ground myself and did a plank for a short while. It passed almost instantly then I cracked on with work. I had a great day.

We are what we think and we can change thoughts at will. Think the right thoughts and the right things will happen. It’s all good.

I’ve realised I have to have self reliance. I cannot expect others to be there for me because others can and will let one down. I’m fast realising yet again how it’s best to have protection of self as top priority. Be one’s own hero. Resilience is growing in me. I think there’s a lot I have to shed to move forwards in life now. Time to toughen up. The path has been laid out before me and I’m treading the first footsteps. Semen Retention seems to have a way of bringing people in from the past and bringing up distractions from the spiritual path. I am seeing this ever more clearly. My willpower and my resolve are being put to the test to see if I am worthy of what is rightly mine, and which I have laid claim to. I have the power of the I AM behind me now.

I have written out my goals for the year ahead. I’ve set down a roadmap to get there. I’ve put down what my aims are for January. All through the Christmas p ’eriod I’ve stuck to pretty rigid patterns to keep on top of my self discipline. I’m laying the foundations of my future. I know it’s not an easy road that I have ahead and that the decisions I’ve made have hurt and affected others, but I know longer term we will all be more than fine. I am tasking myself to get uncomfortable in life, to get hungry and lose my complacency because I know where I am headed and what I will achieve. I like to have a warm bedroom but my bedroom is cooler now. I had previously been almost obsessed with sex but I am now abstaining fully. I used to like the occasional food treat or justified eating more than needed but now I am pretty strict with food and have cut sugary foods out almost completely again and have lowered my carb intake. I’m actually getting abs again. One of my goals is to get into the best shape of my life physically, mentally and spiritually. I’m reading lots again and meditating too as well as manifesting. I’m catching any thoughts that don’t serve me well and changing my thinking when I can too. I AM.