Yes I’m back to day 5 now. I reached day 19 then succumbed. I’m amazed that I got that far. My goal now is 21 days then a month. If I reach a month I’ll aim for 3 months. I was a little annoyed at myself for succumbing but I decided that the best thing to do is just accept it and move on. Right through the Christmas period I have still been getting up about 5-5:20am. In fact 5:20 is a lay in. I’ve also been doing bodyweight exercises still too with the odd weights workout thrown in. I’ve stuck to eating well and am still losing bodyfat/intramuscular fat. My abs and obliques are starting to show more as is the definition in my pecs and delts. my back is probably the first place thats started getting cut. Legs are getting there too and what I’ve noticed is my face is leaner. When washing or touching my face I can feel my jaw and cheek bones more too. It’s all good.

Life at home has had its own challenges over Christmas and I totally understand that Kara is living in mental pain. I honestly hope she can get past this soon. Theres been much more too but I’ll not mention that in here as I don’t want to paint a bad picture of her. It’s time to keep moving forwards now. It’s possible that the house might get sold or go on the market, we will see.

Seeing as it’s New Years Eve I guess lots will be talking about New Years resolutions. I wont be because I know that if I decide to change my life I just get on with it. I don’t need a date on a calendar to tell me or to wait for. I think its why most fail at their New Years resolutions. They build it all up in their minds too much then feel too much self pressure and pressure from others. If you want to change then do it.

Edit: I forgot to say that we all fail but its how we handle that failure that counts. Do we just give up and go backwards or do we dust ourselves off and start again and keep going. If its the latter then we never truly fail.

I’m on day 19 of semen retention now and its easy most day. I’m practicing certain breathing techniques that help lots. They’re pretty much tantric/Kundalini techniques which shift the sexual energy up into the pineal gland and pituitary gland. So far so good. I will keep going. I’m doing a lot of bodyweight exercises too and am cutting intramuscular body fat. My abs are showing a bit and my obliques are now starting to show a little. I am noticing I still have lots of drive and am planning bigger things for next year now too. I will note these down in my book with certain goals like increasing my investments. I’ll see how Q1 starts off and am looking to invest in more crypto and precious metals. I’m looking at a few other things too but will see.

One thing I’m wondering about right now though is whats causing occasional rumbling pain in my right side lower abdomen. I’m hoping its simply muscle issues but am wondering if it’s my appendix starting to play up…

All in all I will keep going with my plans though.

Oh and happy belated birthday to Cherry my sister in law/ex sister in law and happy early birthday to Charlotte a customer and friend incase they read this.

I’m pretty amazed that i an 17 days into semen retention now. It is actually life changing for me. The biggest shocks so far are how quickly testosterone levels increase and how much clearer my focus is. I have huge drive. Its not some crazy bipolar high type drive either, no, it’s long term plans and a map to get there. I will sit down over Christmas and set them down on paper again. I feel quite changed as a person and am not driven by impulsive sexual tension or energy to push me along coupled with a crazy mind. No, this is so very different. The sexual energy is instead harnessed and used inside the body through reabsorption. I’m also using meditation and breathing techniques to raise the energy up my spine back to my pineal and pituitary glands. This is what kundalini yoga involves. I had tried this years ago but didn’t have such a good understanding of it. All good. I would add that taking onboard things that The Unminding Project have spoken about has helped too.

I’m on day 13 of semen retention now and have noticed that this morning my testosterone levels have probably risen again. I wonder if the body reabsorbs the testosterone every 5-7 days and if that causes a peak. A few things pissed me off when I got up this morning. Firstly I saw something puddled in front of the fire that looked like sick. Then when I went into the kitchen I saw that the bottle of spiced rum my daughter got me for my birthday had been opened and more than half had been drunk by her. So yes it was indeed vomit in front of the fire. NOT something that I wanted to be clearing up at 5am! This pissed me off but I’ve calmed down since then. I guess its to be expected when one parent in the house drinks almost every night. It normalises this kind of behaviour, and to be clear I’m not the one who drinks hence why the rum was unopened and was put out of the way. Another reason why my marriage failed. also another reason why I’m glad I took control of my life again. Even my sister in law eventually sought help with her drinking problem. Well done to her if shes still sober. I will need to talk to my ex about this and also my daughter. My ex is too much of a soft touch with our daughter and if things aren’t nipped in the bud very soon she will grow up like her mum with a big victim mentality, which is seriously unhealthy and something I’ve had to try living with since we first got together. I have tried to lead by example but my daughter is obviously close to her mother and follows her example quite a bit. They are both terrible with money and as soon as either of them gets any it is spent. Oh well at least my son is looking into business ideas and is already investing.

I’m quite surprised that I have actually made it to 1 week. The goal now is 2 weeks. I have noticed a few changes so far. Things like my concentration and memory have improved, even though they’re usually good, my eyesight has gotten better and my skin not only seems softer and smoother but the lines around my eyes aren’t as pronounced as they were. my body feels like it’s a little ‘tighter’ and a little bit more defined. I have been reading up on testicle breathing and watching some videos on it but I already do a lot of the breathing stuff and have been breathing properly for years, something most don’t do! So far so good. Life is good and I am calmer than I have been for a long while. Having taken even more notice of Sigma male videos I think I fit that description quite well, not that it matters as I am who I am.

I’ve read up a bit and watched quite a few videos on semen retention. I am 5 days into it and so far so good. It’s easy at the moment and I’m meditating lots re shift the energy around my body. I’ve heard it can get tough but having a very good positive mindset at the minute is obviously helping. I’ve heard it can help naturally raise testosterone levels as well as making the man more attractive to women too due to pheromones. We will see. I’m hoping it helps with my workouts. I’m getting in shape again and my abs are starting to become visible again. Im listening to lots of youtube videos and talks, when i have time or while working, by men for men. All good stuff. I’ve taken myself off Twitter as I was getting embroiled in things that were simply distracting me from what I should be doing. I’m also not bothered by anything the ex family member has to say about me or any stirring they are doing. It’s none of my concern or business now. Life is good and I have drive and ambition again. I have even been to work today even though its Sunday. I am.

It would seem someone has it slightly in for me. I know who’s been stirring the pot with my ex wife, obviously I’ll not name who. I find it extremely sad that at their age they’ve not grown out of pushing their views or pushing others around verbally or passive aggressively and at times physically too. its sad that in all the years I have known them all they want to do is destroy and control others. Very sad. in the past they tried doing it with me too via psychological manipulation. I see through them fully now and quite honestly I pity them because now, like previously in their life, they are set to lose. Oh well. So be it.

I’ve been contemplating a few things the last week or so. Recently people have come into my life or left it. I’ve been questioning where I’m headed in life from here onwards too. People who I thought were family, by marriage, never really were it seems. It surprised me at first but knowing where others place us in life, or in their lives, has given me great insight for my future. Utter self reliance has to be the way forwards now. It’s made me stronger and has shown me to put more trust in myself and far far less in others. I’m pleased to have relearnt this and moving forwards it will serve me well.

Life is good and I’m making big future plans for once the dust settles. Life changing plans. I guess I have already started!