Today I had an appointment with my cpn. He came to mine, he normally does as it’s easier for us both and it’s on his way home. He was a bit late but that was ok. We chatted about things and where I’m at. We spoke about Christmas and things. He asked about the plans I had before Christmas regarding property etc and I said the plans are still in place and how I’m hitting goals etc. He told me how impressed and in awe of how I’ve done and how much I can do. He’s pretty amazed at how well I cope and how I keep myself well. We even talked about possibly going med free at some point. He’s a really nice bloke but in a way I hope I don’t see him again in a professional manner because I’m now discharged from mental health services! I’m discharged! That’s so cool. I’m really happy. It’s shown me how far I’ve come and how much I’ve worked through. I can get referred back to services by my GP if I ever need to in the future, I was discharged before briefly, but I’m hoping that this time it’s permanant or certainly much much longer! I’m getting used to feeling this well and being level isn’t so boring after all. I still have lots of good energy and I have my DRIVE back again. I have some direction and lots of goals to hit. It’s all good.
I’ve taken this morning off work but possibly all day. I’ve been feeling rough since Saturday with a cough and some virus thing. I fought it off about 3 times before Christmas with my mind. I was too busy to be unwell and didn’t allow my mind to think about it. I’m still really busy but don’t have drastic deadlines to meet and as it’s shown it’s head a bit again I’ve decided to allow it to come through a bit. My body is telling me I need a short rest. I felt really unwell until about 11 yesterday morning but stopped myself thinking about it until after work when I felt rubbish again. One thing that I’m pleasantly surprised about is that it’s not affected my mental health because in the past it would of done. I have lots of drive again and lots of goals and I think this is partly why it’s not affecting me. I might go in to work this afternoon. I’m unsure at the moment though. I might not go to band practice either as it’ll finish late. I cancelled my drumming lesson yesterday as I knew it might affect the virus thing.
Yesterday I knew something and had a feeling I was right but didn’t feel the need to check until late last night. It was a concious decision not to too. Here is a post from 2 years ago on January 2nd. It shows where I was and shows me how far I’ve come: