I’ve realised I didn’t write over the weekend. It might of been a few days even. Well my son has started getting pretty angry and aggressive. He’s 11 and puberty has started. He’s being tricky with going to school too and we’ve sought outside help. The biggest thing with it is I can relate totally to him. I used to be the same. Luckily my wife has helped get others involved, poor lad is confused by it all. I think his natural testosterone levels are starting to chime in. Anyway I really wish I’d of had people to help out when I was younger. At times I feel broken. I have to talk myself out of thinking things but I do feel like it’s Karma for my bad behaviour as a kid and I feel like I’m carrying karma from my parents too, they broke up when I was 6. I know it’s irrational but at times I think these things. I guess it’s a form of mental punishment that I mete out on myself. I’m not sure why though. I guess I need to forgive myself. I’m pretty sure life isn’t actually real and that this thing we call life is just a game or hologram.
I’m a little anxious today but not hugely. Certainly enough to notice it though. I’m considering having a day of preparation and pricing before I get too far behind. Who knows what I’ll do. I change faster than the weather these days.