So far so good. No anger. Well not much at all. No anxiety. Today has ended up being a partial cock up but for once that’s actually ok. I’m not sure I’m fully back in touch with reality, or if I ever will be, but the last 2-3 weeks I’ve certainly only just fleetingly glimpsed reality. I’m not sure where I’ve been other than away with the fairies. Today I’ll do what I can and that’ll do just find.
One thing I need to do is stop being such a fucking gullible twat. Too many people take the piss. They think I’m an easy touch and abuse the kindness. I don’t want to have to harden up but I must for my own mental wellbeing. Too often I let people in a bit and they abuse it. Well no more I say. Fuck them all. Death to them. Slow and painful. Maybe I’m being harsh but there we go. There truly are some fuckers in this world, some wankers and cunts. I want out of the rat race. Out of the bullshit. Out of the ways of ‘tradition’ or the ways of supposedly having to ‘do the right thing’ because others expect it. It’s time to tear the false bounties right down. It’s time to be what I need to be and time to start saying to others ‘do you know what? Fuck you that’s what!’ Let them fuck off. Let them worm their little words around trying to get back on the right side of me. Fuck them. Fuck them all. Cunts.
Enough of anger for now. So today I will be happy to just do what I’m doing. Happy to work away on my own. That’s how my life needs to be. Mostly others don’t get me at all. They politely ask how I am but don’t really want an answer. They want to just falsely go about the bullshit. Well that bullshit is killing the planet and killing open minds and eyes. Let’s all put our blinkers on and believe we are such good people. I’m not. I’m not one of them. I’m nasty at times. Horrible. A nightmare to deal with but that’s all inside. Mostly it never shows on the highly polished exterior facade that I wear. Well fuck it all. The end.