I should of been writing lately but haven’t been. Ive been high and mixed lately. I still am. I should get this stuff down. What I’m writing isn’t easy. What I’m about to write I mean.
My reality tonight on my drive home was full blown out of body. Completely altered reality. Detachment is the word I guess. It’s worried me. Ive not been getting good sleep lately and I would say ive worked far too hard for far too long. Far too up and down and mixed. Anyway back to it. On my way home me reality hazed over. It was out of body. It was like tripping. Thoughts flashed in and out. Possibly voices too. The little people were after me. They were watching me and my thoughts. I was aware of the altered reality too. I couldn’t control it though. I felt like driving into an oncoming tractor. I had thoughts of stopping at the woods too. I’ll not say more about those dark thoughts. They’ve passed but it was a borderline Feeling. I came home, practiced drumming and have since been in bed asleep. I’m feeling ok now. It will all pass. More work tomorrow and more on Thursday I would imagine. Ive been at break point with it I realise now. I tried so hard not to get like this. Not to let it get like this. Too many hours working. I need a break. I’m not sure what from though. I will survive. I will conquer. I live to see another day for now.