It’s Friday already and I’m finishing a little early as I have to go look at some work.  It’s funny that I have so much work on but just don’t seem to have any money coming in.  I told a customer almost 3 weeks ago that I was ready for a second part payment but it still isn’t in my bank sio I have had to go off from that job to do some other bits and pieces to get my cash flow moving inwards.  I have VAT to go out soon and I also have my monthly accounts with builders merchants that need paying. I think on e next big  job I will split payment into 4 instead of 3 and will state that unless payments are kept up to date I leave site. It’s funny that the electrician has been paid in the meantime but I’m still waiting.  It’s playing on my paranoia hugely because the customer joked with me a few weeks back that they are bankrupt. She reassured me that they aren’t but I’m still waiting for money and still anxious and paranoid about it.  Oh well maybe it’s time to think about selling up and buying land and getting close to self sufficient. At least the stress then would be more under my control.  I guess even though I know it was a joke it’s still eating away at me.  Coupled with the lack of cash flow it’s probably what’s doing it.  

Mornings are tricky at the minute and my anxiety is higher and I seem more tired and low but once the day gets going I seem to life and get more energy.  I think last weekend is catching up with me too.  Oh well all I can do is suck it up and crack on.  The psychiatric nurse on Wednesday told me of a couple of websites mood juice and five ways. I think they’re kind of like CBT. I told him how I use mediation and CBT techniques to help. It is what it is. Hey ho. 

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