Yesterday in a brief moment of clarity or being level it’s dawned on me that I am ultradian cycling and have been fora few days. Last night I went upstairs oit of the way at about 7:30 or maybe earlier. I don’t know and went to sleep about 8:30. I phoned the local mental hospital mid afternoon but heard nothing back even though they said they would. I called again just before 5pm. I managed to get transferred to someone and she told me I was discharged in July as I was under short term crisis recovery and they felt I was doing well. Of course I was doing well I do bloody well. Much better than most and that’s why when shit kicks off I get hit harder. Anyway she said to get a GP appointment and talk to them and maybe get referred back ffs. Get a fucking GP appointment when bordering crisis point? Wtf? She mentioned MIND so in the end I phoned them and they were very helpful and have suggested I log in with them as often as I want to and possibly daily or more if need be. They will keep private notes and if need be can call for police or ambulance or crisis team direct. So I’ll keep doing that. Sleep has helped so far although I have had anxious dreams and have some anxiety this morning. I have so much to do and need to get money in and now the printer is playing up and I need yellow ink now so I can do a nozzle cleaning. It’s all bollocks. Fuck it.