Still cycling.

I’m still cycling but not as severly as I have been. It a lot easier to handle.  Today was a pretty good day although I now have brain fog but that’s ok. Each day is better and better. Although I’ve had a few steps backwards.  A few people are keeping an eye on me and I fear that it’s not fair on them but it’s kind of them.  A customer emailed the other day about work and he said that anytime I need to talk or if he can help in anyway he will. I was really touched by that. What a lovely man he is.  

Life is good and bad at times and sometimes it both at the same time. Sometimes such lovely things can come from such pain and suffering.  I guess it keeps me grounded and in check.  I am still concerned for myself.  That’s a funny thing to say because it sounds like ‘I’ and self are separate, which I believe they are.   How strange a bipolar mind can be and also how awesome.  Feeling pain so accutely is shit but all of the joy and love is amazing and when heightened it really is a beautiful experience.  I aim to be well again very soon but I’m also cautious about the coming winter and also from my birthday onwards.  January can be shitty for me.  Although I start to plan how I’ll grow things from then onwards so something to look forwards too I guess.  Although I’m feeling iffy I still feel such amazing things too and am feeling a lot of love which is awesome. Long may it last.  

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