I have been thinking about a lot of things the last few days. I know I’m still not ‘well’ per se. In fact it’s usually from now onwards that I get more energy etc and go higher. In a way I hope I do and in a way I hope I don’t. There are so many circles within circles in my life and trying to break them isn’t always working. Paranoia has been huge lately. I will conquer it. I’m monitoring a situation and I’m sure I’m right even if paranoia plays a part of it. I’ve realised I’m not important really. Just another cog in the machine that we call life. I used to believe I was important and had a part to play in saving us all but now I think the fate is sold and unstoppable. Darkness and light both exist and always will. It’s time to revert back to magick and time to withdraw more into myself again. Time to find myself within the abyss. Time to shake the foundations upon the step which the dweller sits upon. I e realised I am becoming what I dislike the most about myself and I have two choices. The first is to mask over him/it. The second is to face him/it full on in a war and battle. The second is the only option. It’s time to shed this skin. Time to reach the highest bounds that I can. I have upset friends and am sure I’ve upset online friends too. No matter the battle lines are drawn and my internal/external battle must start again. Who knows who will win. Maybe Bob will come forwards. Maybe I will call upon her again instead and I must rend the veil and seek her advice. Both hers. Only through the veil of life will I see her and her home again. I will be who I will be. Myself.
Ehyeh Asher Ehyeh