Today is a day where were it not for needing to get money in I would go back to bed. My ears are ringing and pulsating, my heart is still racing a bit, my body still aches and I feel hot. I’m struggling for motivation. A few years ago I would of had a day off and broken the cycle but I cannot afford the day off right now. So I’ll put the mask on, not that it’s ever off anymore now and I’ll force food down, get dressed and go to work and pimp my services out yet again.
Things are getting to me in countless ways. I’m not going into detail as I know what it all is. I carry too much inside. Too many things I can’t let go of and too many people out to nobble others over. Too many agendas. Everyone out for themselves. I don’t like it and it’s not who I am. Maybe I’m robbing myself, as always, yet again. Retreat is the safest option. Too many with their own agendas. Retreat into self.
