I feel I’m walking a tightrope again. I’ve been coping well for a while and been pretty level for a while but today I feel like the black dog might be chasing me again. I’ve been overthinking and inventing stories in my mind. I’m tired and I’m tired of having to fight. I know I said I’ll not fight anymore I’ll just accept, and that’s what I’m trying to do, but this has fucked with my life too many times. How many times does one keep getting up? When does one know it’s not worth it? Why do people wish mental illness on others? I need to sleep lots tonight to be able to keep being normal again tomorrow. I need a break. We’re supposed to just work hard and everything will be good. I work too hard and am always pushing a weight up a hill. It’s not even real any more. I wish my thoughts would slow a little.