Anxiety and thoughts from within

Anxiety.  Again.  Thoughts of what can go wrong in life. Again.  I’m highly strung at the minute and a few things have set me off. Although I’ve come along way with recovery from my last episode outside things and people still affect me and they still try to exert control over me.  It’s a fine line in knowing if I’m in control or if I’m loosing control.  Coping mechanisms are good but maybe they over compensate and over work themselves creating a false reality and false hope.  I’m tired.  Others still seem to push me.  It’s that time of year yet again. Every year.  How to break the cycles of the mind.  I’ve been sitting here working out how things used to be.  How I used to have thousands in the business and my personal account too.   I’ve been working out or thinking or even wondering how things might of been had I not, had we not, of sold our last house and moved.  It’s a fight.  Often it feels like a fight I cannot win.  I keep going but it will all kill me.  Slowly.  Others exert their pressure and bit by bit it’s taking me down. It’s cutting my roots through.  My mind.  What a bastard.  

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