I’m not a wage slave as such as I run a business. I am however a slave to money. A slave to debt. A slave to credit. I’m constantly trying to push past it. I’ve realised the last week or so that even if I market garden I know my work as a builder inside out and it’s where I can maybe make the most money for now. Only yesterday someone said I’m at my peak as I’m still young and fit and at my earning premium. He said I should milk the cash cow that is my business and not be afraid to charge properly for my services. Confidence, or lack thereof, has affected how i price work and what I charge. It’s time to release those shackles and to get my confidence back. Real confidence not some shitty bipolar false confidence. I guess this is another facet of recovery. Recover now there’s a word. I’ve had some blips lately. I’m tired that’s for sure and I’m being strict again over my sleep patterns. It’s funny that I’m tired now I’m getting more sleep. I think my body is relaxing now from so much that’s been pent up inside for the last few years. So much to think about. So much to regain. So much to register and look back upon the countless lessons there are to learn. Lessons which maybe happened because I was in an almost never ending episode since 2012 onwards. I need to face the fact I’ve lost, spent and been conned out of tens of thousands. Time to get things back in line. Luckily most lessons were short and sharp. Time to learn from them and move on with life. A time to stop mourning or lamenting any past happenings and past episodes in life.