Looking forwards and looking back

This morning I’ve made myself stick to my routine and woke up at 6:15am.  I finished work a few days ago and it would be so easy to lay in and let myself do much less than normal but I don’t want that.  I want to keep my focus on where I am heading with life and not slip backwards into past ways and thoughts.  

In September I set myself the goal of getting out of my business overdraft by the end of the year, even if it was only briefly.  A few weeks later I did it so set a higher goal.  I wanted £8k in the business by the end of the year. A month or so later I did that too, although I did spend it out on wages and materials and did go back into the overdraft for a few days.  So having hit that goal, and going back into the overdraft briefly, I decided to aim for having £10k in the business by the end of the year.  On Friday I hit £9,821! I have bills out and am owed close to £1k.  Even if by 31st I don’t quite hit £10k I’m still more than pleased at how I’ve turned things around, and a good amount of that money isn’t mine, that I’m setting much bigger goals from now onwards.  

I’ve realised I’m looking forwards much more than looking back now. Although this morning I sat in front of the fire and had a fight with my thinking.  I wasn’t fully awake and my thoughts were slightly gloomy and were about all of the worst stuff I’ve done in life and how my upbringing was.  So I caught those thoughts and told them I’m in charge now and that I’m not putting up with any of it.   Such a strange thing to be able to do now and such an amazing thing too.   I’ve since sat down and written out some life goals and will also add to my daily goals shortly, which I set down last night.  

How amazing how life can change.  It is true that the path of life flows where attention and focus go.  Something else I find strangely amusing and very amazing is that this blog, this thing of me just writing my thoughts, my feelings, my crapiness, my awesomeness, my joy, my goals and some of my life in has almost 5,000 subscribers.  It blows my mind a little.  More than a little in fact.  

For anyone reading this and needing some help please go and find some help it really is out there but it’s also inside too.  Keep going as it can and does get better the more you put in too. For everybody reading this I send my best wishes to you all on what the calendar says is Christmas Eve.  Much love.  

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