I’m not feeling too motivated and not feeling like I can be arsed with much. Work is busy but mixed at the minute. One job I’ve been doing have asked me to do more pretty much straight away. I agreed and rearranged work accordingly but now I’m not sure if everything will be here tomorrow and if not I can’t get on. I’ll take a few days off. I can’t be arsed either way.
I had a drink Saturday night. It’s affected me and I feel crap. I feel depressed or the start of it. Stupidly I drank last night too. Drink hits me a few days later and affects my mental health. I’ll feel really shit later in the week once last night hits too. I’m stupid. I know it affects me. Self punishment. Again.
Earlier I felt like I was breaking. Maybe I am. My plans from late last year have gone to shit. I’m still in my business overdraft. I’m still in my personal overdraft. It sucks. The harder I work the worse it seems. I think I’m still broken from a couple of years ago and that shit still fucks me up. Shit doesn’t go away for me. I guess it does for others. Lucky fuckers.