Keeping busy but is it avoidance?

I’m keeping myself busy with life. Work is busy. Growing food keeps me busy.  Fishing is keeping me busy.  I think I’ve been mentally avoiding so much. One thing I’ve avoided is that the 11th July was my mums birthday or would of been if she were alive.  Death.  It comes to us all and most of us will ever know when it’s coming.  Some choose when though.   I ran out of coffee a week or more ago, I’ve got some again now though, and I take the minimal amount of Lamotrigine that I’m on when I have coffee in the mornings. A few times and for a few days I forgot to take it as I’d not drank coffee.  The coffee serves as a reminder of it too.  Anyway I think I could come off the meds anyhow.  I’m not sure I need them now as I cope well with most things in life even though it’s often getting by by the skin of my teeth.  So am I avoiding shit or am I just living life? What a fucking quandary. I’ll go with a bit of both and a side order of garlic bread. It is what it is.  The only person I run from is myself.  

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