My concentration has slipped. I’m not doing morning ritual or evening either. I’m not meditating. I’m not sure if this is because I’m so tired and worn out from work or not. I need time off. Luckily I took the time to do the retreat a few weeks back or I’d be even worse now. I’m coming down with a cold too, so I know I need the rest. I’m going to try to get finished as early as possible today. It might still be 4-5pm though. Who knows.

Tomorrow we need to go back up to the city to do some more Christmas shopping. If it wasn’t for having children then I really wouldn’t bother too much about Christmas. I’m not being mean or grumpy it’s just that I don’t like how it’s all about spending money on people rather than spending time with people. There’s too much pressure placed on buying things now. I’m sure I’m sounding old and grumpy but it really does seem that way.  I might draw some money out of the bank tomorrow and give to some homeless people so they can maybe get a bed and breakfast tomorrow night. Last year I gave a homeless couple money to be able to do that. I’m not sure if I do it to feel good myself, if I do it to help them or just to do it to try to help. Sometimes the world sickens me because of poverty, homelessness and hunger but at other times I seesuch beauty in our world. I guess mostly I try to see its beauty. It’s when I’m too tired that the ugliness creeps in. 

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