I called a friend of a friend who’s a mechanic last night and he’s coming to look at my van today to see if he can figure out what might be wrong with it. I’m hoping that it’s fixable. I need it for work.
I’m going to use our car to do a small job today and then I’ll do a load of pricing too. I’ve got help again tomorrow and he will pick me up. In a way it’s a blessing in disguise to be able to catch up on pricing. I must make time to meditate a bit today too. It’s maybe time I meditated on death again. Everything is impermanent and we clutch at things, we try to own or passes things but in reality everything changes. Change really is the only constant in life. I’d say that it’s good to embrace change but that could also be seen as clutching at things. Maybe I’ll say it’s good to be flexible and open to change.
I’ve got a few ideas about some projects too, so maybe I should start to look into those too. Today is a good day. Everyday that I’m alive and know it is a good day. Thinking of such things I’m pretty sure I heard something on radio 2 yesterday about suicide and maybe depression. I think it was on the Jeremy Vine show. I’ll have to see if it was. I know I’ve felt suicidal several times and it takes a lot to be open about it. Most people don’t want to know about it or talk about it. I’d say that most people like things a certain rigid way in life and anything else is too much to cope with or they constantly see what’s wrong in the world but only complain instead of trying to change things. I wonder why they don’t think to change or that it’s really just their perspective that needs to change a little.
I’m less bothered today about what I overheard my neighbours say yesterday. It’s suprising how I’m so susseptuble to picking up on others emotions and feelings. I honestly think I took on board their anger and hatred yesterday. After if calmed a little I went and had a bath with bath salts in and it washed it all away. There’s a good message there that I must remember. I must be aware of others moods etc and be aware that I don’t take it onboard. It’s hard to do but well worth it.
