Everything has calmed down a bit. Things are going ok and I’ve immersed myself in permaculture ideas. It’s a fantastic way to live and to reap great benefits from the world. I think I’ve levelled right off though and that’s a bit boring to be honest but at the same time it’s bloody good to be on a level mood wise. I always question if this is really a normal type of mood set or if it’s all just more delusions. Who knows. I certainly don’t because they kind of morph from one into the other slightly, unless I drop into depression. Then it’s a massive nose dive into the abyss. Anyway so far so good, I’m still breathing, the world is still going around and it’s looking like it’s going to be a nice sunny day. Jolly good. I need to get my arse in gear over a few jobs but that’ll come no problem.
I find that when I’m level like this I think that there’s actually nothing wrong with my mental health at all. I feel a bit fraudulent and fake but then it can all change in an instant, quite literally. So I enjoy the good energy and moods while they last, I enjoy the highs however short lived or however long as long as I don’t go fully off my rocker and I try to prepare mentally for the lows. I’m still seeking enlightenment and enlightenment is still seeking me. Maybe I’ll get to the end of my life and realise I was always there or ‘here’ as all these new age gurus would put it. I see my life as a constantly moving transition of my evolution as a spiritual being. I’m still trying to live the way I know is correct. In fact possibly more so than ever before. Permaculture ties in with the Taoist and Buddhist ideals I try to live by as well as the ritual magick, mediation, sourcery and alchemy too.
Ah meditation. I’ve not had the right mind frame to meditate properly for a while now. I’ve had fleeting meditations and that’s ok. I know that if I push it when my mind isn’t quite right then it’s detrimental, much the same as reading. When my mind goes up a few notches those things go out the window and I get lost on all manner of obsessions like Facebook and Twitter etc. I can see now that I am on there less and less so my mental health is getting back into a good balance pint albeit a very precarious one as always but that’s life baby!
