I’ve been told by countless people now that they love that I’m real. I don’t know why. Maybe people are so used to sugar coated bullshit and I’m just being myself and being open about my life struggles. Maybe that’s it. Maybe I am real. I feel very real right now.
I’m still going up and down a lot. There’s a song that resonates with me at the minute. Kurt Vile and the violators, Pretty pimping. It’s a great song. it sums me up, although I can’t look in a mirror at the minute because I won’t know who’s looking back at me. Who am I ? Maybe I’m real but who really am I? Am I you? Am I me?
I’m tired again for a short while. I went out last night and got home about 11:30pm. I was wired so didn’t sleep until 3am and had to force myself to turn lights off etc. I was up just after 6 this morning again as usual. I’m over sensitive too. One right sentence and I’m glowing. One wrong or confusing word or sentence and I get close to the tipping point. I’m tired by it all. Circles within circles. Endless repetition. I think I really am in either groundhog day or a simulation of life.
I’m discharged from mental health as it was short term recovery from crisis that I was under them for. Its a good job mind are there sometimes!
