I’ve been up since 6 am and I’ve mostly been meditating and working on no mind. I’m pretty relaxed but I’m wondering if I can bring Saturdays work forwards to tomorrow. Hopefully I can as Saturday might well be wet. I’m feeling like I’m getting on top of everything in life to a degree. Small steps work better than the huge leaps I usually make. Sometimes I’m so confident I make big choices without thinking about anything other than the positives. I’ve always thought others were holding me back but now realise that they were possibly a little more rational than me. That’s very hard to admit to! It’s not often, or it didn’t used to be, that I admit I’m wrong. Maybe now I’m more aware of these things I will move forwards in how I want to live much more easily.
Life catches me out at times and when it does I feel small and I feel like I just want to disappear into w hole in the ground. When it happens it catches me totally unaware and it’s only now that I’ve been working on it that I’m seeing the triggers easier, in fact I probably never did see triggers before. Anyway I’m feeling great again, a nice great not high, and I’m enjoying it. I’ve realised I don’t need to be super human all the time especially not at work. Quite often I do the work of two people.
Now that I’m getting on too of things much more I think I need to book myself into the solitary retreat that I used earlier this year. I know it gets very booked up so I might need to book for early next year. If that’s the case then I’ll have a few days at home to myself. A few relaxing days where I meditate and unwind a lot.
