Life is a strange thing. It feels like it goes in circles. Yet again I’m penniless. It’s always this time of year. It always affects my mind badly and can cause untold stress. I’m off Facebook yet again, often this time of year I come off, and I’m having less contact with friends. In fact I have very little contact with friends these days. Some friends I’d love to hear from but I don’t. I even wonder if one friend has blocked me but hey ho. That’s life I guess. Maybe they’ll make contact when they’re ready. Who knows. I often miss chatting.
Work is busy as always and I need to really get motivated and get major money in yet again. It’ll happen. I always make it happen. I have a way of digging deep when I need to and a way of getting what I want when I focus on it.
Fynn and I haven’t fished much lately as there aren’t many fish about and there’s been too much seaweed close in. The last decent fish I caught was the Tope which is a shark. Instead of fishing we are doing distance casting in a field and we’ve done a few tournaments already. It’s a very strange sport that’s for sure. At least it’s giving me some focus outside of work. On the whole I’m OK but I’m still getting blips. Hey ho. That’s life.
The past week or more has seen my mind speed up, paranoia start and rational thinking go out of the window. I have not fought with it as often that makes it worse. It is easing now. My sleep needs to get back on track, although this time of year I need a bit less anyway and it’s extremely hot too and it has been for the past month or two. This morning I can see clearly again and my thinking is more rational and slower. I’ve even managed to meditate and read for a while. I am once again writing down goals in my little book. Life is like a year and a year is like life. We go through spring, summer, Autumn and winter. Spring in life and the year sees life springing forwards and growth even though it starts slow. The planning for life and the year ahead gets underway. Summer is the time of long balmy days and a relaxed attitude usually. It’s a time when we feel there’s so much time left to do so many things. We socialise, we feel alive and feel that nothing can stop us. Autumn is the time when things gently, at first, allow down. The energy starts to subtly subside. We start reflecting on the past months and life albeit with rose tinted g,asses and still planning for the year and life ahead. We have amazing focus. It’s the time to start to reap the harvest and the rewards of work Putin earlier in the year and life. Winter is the time of contraction and connection. We connect with the most important elements of ourselves as daylight reaches its shortest levels just as in life we feel that time moves faster. Being older and wiser gives us opportunity to reflect more and also time to slow things down that can often seem to just happen to us. We can taken step back and look deeper into things. We can adjust things more finely. The most important things in life tend to shine through. The bullshit often stops, if we let it, and we filter things better as we are wiser.
It’s good to be able to mentally step back and look at things with different eyes.