I think I have to face the fact that no matter how hard I work I will always be in debt. I had plans laid out at the end of last year to be well ahead by now yet it’s the opposite. I’m not ahead. I’m £6 off the limit of my £10k business overdraft. It’s not the first time it’s been like this and I know I’ll claw my way back again and get money in but it’s endless. It’s constant. No matter how hard or long I work something always comes along that costs me money just as things look better. It’s not my attitude to things as I always keep going and pushing. I always try to keep smiling and try to outwardly just be what others think they see. Inside it’s often a different story. The whole idea of wurking hard gets you ahead is bollocks. It’s a rigged system. It’s rigged to keep poor people poor, to keep those who are just about comfortably off in debt enough to keep pushing but mostly it’s about making the rich even richer. It’s rigged that way. With as hard as you want but you’ll still get had somewhere. Regardless I’ll keep going and keep pushing. I have no other choice. I’ll die young from some illness brought on by stress and debt. People will say I worked hard or too hard. They’ll say this and that. They’ll project their owns fears outwards. The truth is most of us are over our heads but we fool ourselves into thinking, or saying, that we’re better off than this or that person. We do it to keep ourselves sane/insane and to keep going instead of folding and realising the truth. It all sucks donkeys. Fuck it all is what I say.
