Yesterday I had lots of anxiety. Nothing unusual there. I’m often anxious. It felt worse than normal and I couldn’t work out why I was anxious either. I had my drumming lesson last night and didn’t feel like going. I felt a bit sick in my stomach and had a headache but before I left I had a glass of water and once there it was a great lesson. Fantastic lesson actually. I got home feeling good but hungry. All good so far. Then at bedtime I needed to pee quite a bit. I couldn’t remax fully and it was about 1am or later before I turned the light off. Even then I was wide awake. I forced myself to lay down and did sleep. I woke about 5:30am and feel good. I’m anxious again this morning. I think I’m going sky high. I don’t know. I’m so unsure. Until later gets here I won’t know. I’ll try forcing myself to sleep earlier tonight. If I can. At least last night I kind of relaxed while in bed although I did come over cold at one point and shook quite hard while in the toilet. I don’t know where this is heading but I need to keep both eyes on it and fully aware too. I’m a bit fearful too. I could do with the energy of a high but not the shittyness of it.
