I’ve just had to walk off and leave my wife and children as I’ve gotten really angry with my son. He constantly pushes the boundaries. He’s rude and talks back constantly. He has just been really horrible to his younger sister. He’s broken 2 sticks that she picked up on a walk we were on. He splashed mud in her eyes too. He constantly bullies her. I know siblings can be like that, but I told him off and swore at him and walked off because I was too angry to be sensible. I noticed I clenched both fists whilst talking to him. He doesn’t need me being angry or aggressive because that won’t help matters at all, so I’ve walked off out the way. I’m not sure if its because I’ve broken my routine that I’ve got so angry or if its because we are all together with no space or if its because he constantly winds his sister up and hurts her maybe it’s all things combined, but regardless of that I was close to loosing my temper badly So I’ve left them for a while.
It’s given me a good chance to try to think about my own reactions and any triggers that in hindsight I can look out for again. My wife and I had kept close to our daughter to stop him hitting her with a stick etc. Maybe next time it starts like that I will have to take one of them off with me and my wife can take the other one to give them some time apart. Anyway I’ve walked off into the woods to calm down before going back. If I’m calmer I can help deal with it in a responsible manner. I’m just upset that I’ve had to leave my wife alone to deal with it because that’s unfair on her. My thoughts as I walked off were very low and very angry aggressive thoughts. It’s never easy being me. Just as I find I’m doing ok it crashes down. Maybe I should become a hermit or a monk!