Being aware

I’m aware that yesterday I had to switch off my iPad and put my books down at about 11:30pm. I could of easily carried on for hours. I was wired. I was buzzing. When I turned the light off I felt agitated. I’m still a little edgy today and tonight but I’ll be ok.  I’m letting it be but also watching it.  I know I’ll be fine. I’m aware. I’m also aware that I’ve had to switch away from Facebook tonight as I was getting far too involved in political posts and debates. Far too involved for my own liking and my mental health.  Luckily I’m at the stage of being able to do it.  It’s taken years to get here and I know at times it’ll go past that again.      

Yesterday’s session with the psychologist was another hardish one. So much to talk about and go through or work through yet each one ties me but I come out stronger after a few days.  I know I’m the one doing the work and if I avoid anything or any subjects then I’m slowing my own progress or thwarting myself.  So I’m open. It’s the only way to be and it takes a while to build that trust with a therapist.  I’m glad that initially I told her of I didn’t get on with her I would say so and ask for another person. She agreed and said similar that she had to be ok with it too.  

 So I’m about to do something which I have avoided.  I know I have subscribers and mostly I write this just for myself as a record of things but it’s not a set in stone rule. So here goes. A question for anyone reading this.  Has reading any of the posts helped you at all or resonated with you? I’ve been told by some who I know that I’ve been able to put in words what they feel but can’t always say.  If you feel you can answer I’d appreciate it. I do have to approve any replies as I’ve been spammed before. It’s mental health month so maybe it’s good to talk. 

Liked it? Take a second to support darrenmundi on Patreon!