Cut me down and I grow back stronger

Every time I break or get knocked down I get back up stronger. I mend. I’m resilient. I grow. I find a way back on track.  I will never be beaten fully as long as I have a breath in my body.  I fight and continue to fight.  The older I get the more I realise how fortunate I am in life and how much I’ve learned in life so far.  I wish I could help others more than I do. Maybe one day I’ll find a way and find more strength so I can actively help others.  I don’t know yet but if I can I’ll find a way. Life is what it is and I am lucky to have loving support.  I’m not always easy to be around but when I’m well I try to support people back. A friend checked in on me a few nights ago as he was worried about me and how much I was posting on Facebook about death.  It really meant a lot to me and possibly more than he’ll ever know.  He was right.  I was obsessing with death. I’d been looking at trees again looking at their nice high strong branches which I could hang myself from.  I told nobody about it but it obviously came out online in things.  Luckily it was yet another dip and blip.  It’ll soon be the anniversary of my fathers death and I know this is what has affected me.  I knew beforehand too but it doesn’t stop it happening.  Im a survivor.  

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