yesterday I had a conversation with my mother in law. Several things came up, one of which was something my mum told her years ago and told her not to tell me. She’s been dead 13 years and I think it was quite some time before that that she told my mother in law. My Mother in law thought about telling me a couple of years ago but the time and opportunity never arose. It’s shocking how a few sentences about things that happened when I was 6 or 7 have raked up a lot of memories. Memories that were suppressed but some of them came back almost instantly. Talk about huge emotional build up in an instant! A few sentences that threw light on so many things and there will be many more memories that crop up. Much more makes sense about my earlier life but it’s also started more confusion too. I had very vivid dreams last night about people who died years ago. I’ve woken up this morning to a slight headache and my ears are ringing badly. I feel like although I slept I was actually awake in my dreams or I another reality. So much more to figure out. I think I need time away from lots of things to digest it all. Sometimes we know ourselves pretty fully but don’t know about things that shaped that person from childhood. More memories creep back in. This shit is around 40 years ago but will maybe haunt me forever.
