again at last I have clarity. It’s a good feeling. I am taking qigong more seriously again and will start meditating properly again too. I used to meditate for upwards of 30 minutes every morning. It’s amazing how only now that I have clarity again that I can see I was under stress and had anxiety. I am using the bipolapp everyday too.
I am working today and it should be an easy day. If it’s not I will leave early, which I can do as I’m self employed. I’m relaxed anyway so things should be cool.
It’s amazing how much difference one week can make with a relationship or life.
I honestly think I should become a hermit, well even more than I am already! People confuse me , they are unpredictable and don’t use logic how I do but life is beautiful again.
I’ve had a normal day and it feels great. I’m relieved to be back to my most awesomeness. I am immortal. My thinking is clear and straight. All is good. I have practiced a few rituals over the last 2 weeks to gain clarity so thats good.
I guess we all have struggles within. From trying to do what we are told is right to what we ourselves believe is right. I found this short article quite good on how mental health is perceived differently in a non western culture. http://earthweareone.com/what-a-shaman-sees-in-a-mental-hospital/
I’ve always felt that it’s a blessing and a curse. I guess we can all be too quick to judge others and their minds or their characters. We need to learn to love and understand the diversity that we have. X
change. Change is the only constant in any of our lives. We can either embrace it or run from it. It’s out choice , but it will still be there. It will still change things. Life goes on and we either move forwards or stagnate. I think I have feared those changes lately. I’ve not practiced my qigong properly, it’s been half hearted because my mind hasn’t been in it but now I can see this and I’ve changed it. How much can I change as a person or as myself? Who am I really ?
How can we start to embrace the changes in our life or let things go? Things that we’ve held onto for years or built up over years like fears ? I don’t know but I guess being open to them will help. I’m feeling happier in myself again.
I think I’ve made it back to reality. Which reality I’m not sure but at least a lot of stress has passed and has hopefully been dealt with. I’m actually hungry again this morning so that’s a start. I’ll keep pushing forwards as I can’t go back.
life can have some pretty amazing twists and turns. We just never know where we will get to. I guess we have to choose which way we let fear take us. Fear of failure or fear of success. Do we hold back or push forwards and when do we decide to give up ? Is reality truly real and tangible? Who knows…
I’m back at a reasonable level after some severe last few days. There are some personal issues that have arisen and need to be addressed. I feared facing them because I struggle to face things. It can completely screw my mind about. That’s life I guess!
I’ve just checked the subscriber list and there are 121 subscribers. Wow. I started writing this purely for myself. For my own record of how I feel and all of a sudden I have subscribers. I’m blown away. I hope that I can help but one person to seek themselves and seek to understand themselves. If just one person feels that they’re not alone then I’m truly touched.
Heres a thought though. Maybe you all just enjoy reading my nutty rants. That’s cool too.