Still not well fully

it’s Sunday at 11:17 and I’m still not feeling great. I’ve been coughing up blood a little the last 2 mornings. I lauded in until 8:10 and didn’t get out of bed until about. 9:30.  I’m still not dressed and will have a bath soon. 

I had mild hallucinations this morning but that’s ok. I’m still mulling over things in my mind. So much of my past needs dealing with. Things I started in my alchemy and magic that are yet to be completed. I needed the mental gap to grow and now I’m ready to return, although I won’t work in my lab until my health is fully recovered. Not because of the materials themselves but my influence over the materials. Perfect health for perfect works. 

My circadian rhythm is way out at the minute. I’m off food a fair but too. I’ve dropped to just over 14 stone now where as a week ago I was maybe 14 stone 9-10lbs. I know the weight will go  back on once I start working out again, which I’m not doing while not feeling great. 

Life is what it is. Im feeling pretty balanced at the moment although I’m very finely tuned too right now. Work is very busy and that had its own stress  at the minute too. 


Other worlds

I was up at 6 as usual but since the virus tearlike this week vid had a nasty cough. This morning I started coughing up a little blood. I’m pretty sure I’m ok though. I had pneumonia 8 years ago exactly now. Since then my lungs aren’t too bad but a cough can make me cough up blood. 

Ive been visiting other worlds astrally again recently and things are getting stronger. I’ve found a close tie that I will explore further too. Lots of my past esoteric workings are coming back up, lots of things left unfinished are starting to get finished. Physical things are coming up too. I’m going to get back in my alchemical lab and make some herbal elixirs etc too. It’s all pretty crazy and I guess when I read back it’ll make more sense to me. I’m pretty certain I now know where my oath lays and where I’m heading too. Enough for now. Life is life. 

Going up, going down

I’m starting to think I’m going up, going down. Possibly one or the other, possibly both at once. I’ll see what happens but I’ve seen some triggers/warning signs. I’m getting up early still but going to sleep later. I’m feeling a little stressed and wired too. I’m still not fully 100% back to full health after a virus either. Oh well I will be whatever I will be. 

I haven’t filled my diary in either pretty much all week. Partly because of being unwell and partly because everything has been building up. How can my life get so complicated so quickly ?


It’s Thursday and I’m almost human again. Work has been hard work but that’s ok. I’ve felt ‘out’ of myself a bit these last few days. I’m coming back inside now though. 


I’m home from work. I came home earlier and had a snooze for about 1 3/4 hours as I didn’t sleep well last night. I had a high temperature on and off mixed in with feeling freezing. I think I must of been fighting demons again. It’s been a while. I’m starting to feel a bit better now. Last night I was hallucinating. I didn’t mention it to anyone at the time, but I knew I was. When I get physically ill I try to go inside the virus and work through it like that. I kind of embrace it. Anyway I’m getting better. I just hope I don’t get too hot tonight.