I’m feeling really good.  Things are going well.  I know there will be blips.  I know there will be things that go wrong.  I know that I am who I am.  I know that only I can make changes in my life.  I know that things are getting better and better all of the time.  Things are great.

 I’ve been discharged from psychology a few weeks and have even had a letter about some stuff.  I saw the cpn a week ago yesterday and he’s pretty amazed at where I’m at.  I’ll be discharged from MH services early next year.  I can always jump back in if I need to.

 This is the most mentally well I’ve been for at least a decade now and it’s getting better all of the time.  I know that things can get tough but I’ll ride them out.  I question any negative self talk now.  I have my drive for life back again.  Keeping things logical really is helping.  My wife has been worried that I’m a little energetic but I’ve reassured her that it’s just my normal state which has been gone for so long.  My sleep is really good. My eating is good.  I’m still off social media.  I’m making some serious and sensible life plans and they’re falling in place.  It will all take time.  In the past I’d of been pushing for it to happen faster and faster.  This time I can see the sense in the waiting.  I don’t need to rush.  I’m setting goals that push me but they’re sensible goals.  It’s a bit scary being able to do all of this and know I’m ok.  It’s scary looking back at how unwell I have been.  It’s also scary, in an amazingly good way, to be able to plan ahead and have goals.    

It’s all good. 

Razor sharp focus. That’s where I’m at. I’m still making lots of lists. They really help. It stops me forgetting things and it’s good ticking things off. I’m on the ball again after almost a decade. Being able to form plans is quite a amazing feeling.  Anyone who’s lost in their own mind I want you to know it does stop and you can come out of it. Bipolar is episodic and doesn’t have to be one long episode.  Take all of the help you can get. Be honest with yourself and your mental health team. Get counselling and try your hardest to make it all work.  If you feel overmedicated then bring it up with your team.  Mental pain can pass even if it’s only for brief times. Hold onto those times. Write everything down. Make plans and goals for each day, week and month. Start with something really simple likenot drinking coffee after 4pm or not drinking alcohol for one day. Start small and watch your progress. If you fail then keep trying and don’t beat yourself up over it.  Keep moving forwards.  Try to know yourself and be honest with yourself. Try getting out in nature if and when you can.

 I’m still off (anti) social media and have deleted the Facebook and Facebook messenger apps from my phone. I even put my phone and iPad out of reach at times so I can focus better.    It’s all good.