I’m tired of things. Life is a huge false ride and I’ve had enough of its bullshit. I want to jump off the ride. Work is too much. I need to retire. Soon. I’m not me. Someone else is me. I’m just floating behind and above myself. Like a swirling mist flollowing someone. Maybe I’m just ectoplasm. It’s all me and I yet I don’t think I know who me or I actualy are or is. I’m not working today. I’ve come back to bed. My ears are ringing. My energy is edgy. I’m going up or down and I don’t know which. Maybe it’s both…a mixed episode. I hope not. I thought I’d gotten on top of everything. I just want to be a kid again. Being grown up sucks. It’s not fun anymore. When I was a kid I could play or pretend to be a grown up but now I’m a grown up I’m still pretending to be one. It sucks. I need to retire. Time to look at the ride again.